A motivator to keep in mind: if you’re in a social environment such as a nightclub or a bar, and are feeling reluctant about approaching women, remember that the single women are there because they want to be approached. If they wanted to be left alone, they’d be at home. They spent a considerable amount of time and expense on their hair, makeup and outfit and they want to be in the mix; it’s just a matter of who they want to be in the mix with.   If you present yourself as a way for her to have more fun this evening, you’re in the door. This is why your energy level should be at the same level as the girl (or group of girls) you are approaching, or slightly higher.   “Wherever you’re at is the place to be.” If you happen to find yourself in a less-than-ideal environment (a wack nightclub, a bar with absurdly overpriced drinks, a party with lousy food, etc.)keep these feelings to yourself when you converse with women. You’re out tonight to have a good time and project positive energy no matter what and because you’re there, it must be “the place to be” tonight.

Control, Don’t Dominate

So you made your intro, and now the two of you are chatting. This convo is how it all begins. It’s the delicate dance in which the Mack presents himself in the best possible light, gets a read on this woman he’s dealing with, and begins to guide the encounter.   The average guy won’t attempt to control the conversation; he “goes with the flow.” He figures as long as the woman keeps talking to him, he’s doing okay.

But “going with the flow” usually means the conversation stays stuck in neutral. It’s only a matter of time before it runs out of gas. When it does, if this is a girl he just met, she’s going to figure out a way to excuse herself.(“I need to go find my friend” is a classic.)

Instead, you want to shift this conversation into high gear right from the start and control the tempo and the topics.   Now, when we say “control,” we don’t mean “dominate.”

You’re not running your mouth or telling long-winded stories. You’re never coming off as aggressive or overbearing, which are signs of desperation.  Your goal is to guide the conversation without her knowing it. You will steer it in a direction that builds a bridge between you and her, creating a subliminal (and eventually a physical) bond.   Instead of wasting time with superficial small talk, every story you tell, and question you ask, should have a purpose whether it’s to strengthen the bond, gather Intell about her, draw attention to your positive qualities, or amplify her attraction towards you.