Start it off by introducing yourself by name. When a man doesn’t offer his name, it implies that he doesn’t want her to know who he is. Maybe he’s married or has a girlfriend, and is trying to make something happen on the down low. Who knows; maybe he’s wanted by the cops. OK, that may seem like an extreme example, but the point is this: on a subconscious level, until you present your name, you’re a complete stranger and her female radar associates strangers with bad things. You want to establish yourself as trustworthy, someone she can feel comfortable with. So before you get into the conversation, give her a warm smile and a direct look in the eye, and tell her who you are. Think of this intro as your verbal business card. (Would you hand a person a business card without your name on it?)
When it comes to her name, remembering it is essential. Men are notorious for forgetting girl’s names, and if you do so, you’ve dug yourself into a hole.
One trick for remembering a girl’s name is to repeat it out loud, slowly and with a smile, after she tells it to you. Say it like you really like the way it sounds. Women love hearing their own name out loud. Make a Mack Mental Note (MMN) of her name and do not forget it. You’re going to want to refer to her by name throughout the conversation, since this enhances the sense of closeness between the two of you. If you do forget her nameand in a noisy environment, especially after a few drinks, it can happen never ask her to tell you again. It’s an admission that you’re a poor listener. The Tactical solution is to create a reason for her to repeat her name, without you having to ask directly.
Let’s say you’ve been talking to a girl at the bar for ten minutes, when you realize that you’ve forgotten her name. Some friends of yours are making their way towards you, and you know you’re going to have to introduce the girl to them. You need to get her name to avoid looking stupid, but you don’t want to have to ask her again.
You (looking across the bar at a random girl): “Wow, that girl over
there looks just like my friend Jessica.”
Her: “Yeah?”
You: “I was at her birthday yesterday. It was great, except for the
fact that they spelled her name wrong on the cake…” (chuckling)
Her: “How’d they spell it?”
You: “The way you’d think. But she spells it differently: J-E-S-S-I-KA.
These days a lot of people spell their names funny, did you ever notice that? How do you spell yours? If I ever need to buy you a birthday cake, I’d hate to screw it up…”
At this point, she’ll either spell her name out or mention it in her response (i.e., “Lisa, just like it sounds.”) Many female names (Sarah/ Sara, Stacey/Stacy, Catherine/Katherine, etc) have a possible alternate spelling, so while this technique carries risks if her name is “Pam” you’re going to look a bit stupid it works more often than not. When she repeats her name, you’re going to listen close and register the name in your brain with a Mack Mental Note. Then it’s back to the conversation.