M.A.C.K. Tactics is the hottest system on the market for guys who want to take their game with women to the ultimate level. The word M.A.C.K. stands for Method, Action, Confidence and Knowledge—the four factors that can transform the average man into a dating dynamo. In this exclusive column for Strip Las Vegas, we give the Tactical Response to questions pertaining to sex, dating and relationships.
Dear Macks,
I’m a social guy and I meet girls all the time when I go out. I’ve got a good sense of humor so it’s no problem for me to start a conversation and get a girl laughing. But sometimes I can’t tell if they’re only interested in friendly conversation, or if they’re open to taking things to another level. What’s the secret to figuring out whether a girl is into me?
Simon
Houston, TX
Simon, real attraction is something you need to build. If you’re a handsome dude, some women will be drawn to your looks; if you’re a funny guy, they might stick around because you make them laugh. But making them feel a deep attraction requires a certain process. Once the conversation is flowing and she’s responding to you, it’s time to take things to the next step and determine where you stand with her.
Part of gauging her attraction is establishing that you have standards. You’re not just hoping to meet a girl; you’re interested in meeting an incredible girl who has the qualities you are looking for. Never feel like you’re “auditioning” for women; turn the tables and make them audition for you.
The most effective way to do this is to use qualifying statements or questions to challenge her, and at the same time, test her attraction level.
“Jenny, before we go any further with this conversation, I should tell you: there’s no way I could ever marry a woman who doesn’t know how to go out and cut loose and have a good time.” (Or doesn’t like to cook, travel, who doesn’t have a sense of humor, etc – throw out a quality and make it sound like it’s one of your big “criteria” with women.)
When you say this, you may have no idea whether she possesses this quality or not, and it may not even be that important to you. You’re just playfully throwing out some bait to see what she does with it. The fact that you’re talking about whether she’s qualified to be your wife, during the first conversation, is meant to be humorous. But every woman wants to believe she has the right stuff, and therefore if she’s attracted to you at all, she is going to have an immediate reaction.
She will most likely:
a) Qualify herself back: “I cook! You should taste my lasagna.” Or, “Are you kidding me? I love to go out, I’m all about good times.” (This is good; it shows that she wants to impress you.)
b) Qualify you back: “Oh, I have to cook, huh? Well, I need a guy that can change my car’s oil. Can you do that?” (She’s savvy to your game, and she wants to keep playing. There’s some attraction here, so keep working.)
c) Flunk herself: “Sorry, I can’t cook to save my life.” Or, “I’m too busy with work to go out.” (Here, she makes no attempt to “sell” you on herself. She’s either hasn’t developed an attraction to you yet, or is simply not interested for whatever reason.)
A qualifying question means phrasing the same sentiment in the form of a question, while expressing interest at the same time. “Jenny, you’re cute and all, but I can’t go any further in our relationship until I know something: are you the uptight type, or do you like to go out on the weekends and cut loose?”
The result is the same: you’re challenging her to prove herself. If she does, she’s interested. If she doesn’t, don’t sweat it: it probably just means you need to backtrack, and build that attraction.
Here are the basic steps towards building attraction up:
1) Active listening: nod and maintain eye contact with her. She has to feel that you really hear her. Ask her questions about what she said. If you’re in a noisy environment, lean in close so that you don’t miss a word. (This also closes the physical gap between the two of you.) Use short phrases to encourage her to keep talking and sharing: “Hmm, that’s really interesting.” “I can see why you feel that way.” “It’s interesting that you would say that. Tell me more.”)
2) Relax and breathe at the same rate she does. This will help you fall into mirroring her body language naturally. (Note: Do not try too hard to mirror her body language, as this usually looks phony and contrived. Just let it happen naturally; notice her groove, and settle into it.)
3) Find things in common. It goes without saying that we trust and want to be around people that are like us. So when you find something in common, you should make sure you expand on it and let her know that it’s something that you two both share, such as traveling abroad, or certain types of books, or long distance running. The more you explore this common experience, the better—but let her do most of the talking.
4) Get her to realize something on an emotional level. A very effective to build rapport with women, and gain their confidence, is helping them come to a decision and motivate them to do something they may be scared of. This is intensely arousing to a woman because it demonstrates leadership ability, and it will connect her to you. Get her to reveal a goal or aspiration that she doesn’t share with many people, and be encouraging.
“Jenny, I think it’s admirable that you’re thinking about starting your own business. I don’t think you should wait—I think you should go for it. I have a feeling that you’d be awesome at it.”
Every woman has something she’d rather be doing with her life, or wants to achieve someday. Help her to crystallize it in her mind and encourage her to take action. Whenever you spend time with her from this point forward, this is a subject you can always talk about. It will put her in a positive frame of mind, and reinforce you as a leader and positive influence—masculine qualities that women are deeply attracted to.
Hey Macks,
I read your book and decided to make some serious changes in my life. I got a better job, started hitting the gym hard, and my confidence went to another level. I hooked up with a girl named Diane who is now my girlfriend, and I plan to marry her (I just turned 30, and my family keeps telling me I need to settle down and get serious). But now that I know “The Tactics” and all these different girls are open to dating me, should I be looking to settle down? I feel guilty every time I flirt with a girl, because I know Diane would freak out if she knew…but since I read your book it really opened up a new world of possibilities!
Andre
Bronxville, NY
Andre, we’re going to cut the politically correct crap and tell it like it is. Men are wired to want to chase women. We like to look at women, and even when we have one, we want others. This is not to say that you can’t curb your desire and be faithful and monogamous, but this is not a natural state for a man to live in. You will always struggle with the half of you that wants one lasting relationship and long-term security, and the other half that lusts after sex with someone new.
Don’t feel ashamed of this internal conflict. And don’t think the male sex drive isn’t a handicap; it’s actually an incredibly powerful tool when channeled in the right direction. It has inspired men to lead armies and build empires. In today’s world, it inspires men to find better jobs, make more money, and improve their game. The drive for sex makes us better men.
Let’s be honest: what is it that really compels single men to go to the gym, further their career goals, buy new cars and clothes, and do all those other things we supposedly do in the name of being a respectable member of society? It’s really about the male desire to become more attractive to women and thereby find a way to satisfy their sex drives. If women didn’t exist, most men would never find the motivation to work hard and chase the big money. Hell, they probably wouldn’t be able to put down the Xbox controller and get off the couch.
We tell our seminar students, as you go out there and start applying a Mack attitude towards women, and approach and date with more confidence, finding outlets for your sex drive is not going to be a problem. You will get laid. This is when you have to level with yourself about what is going to make you sexually content. Do you really want to be in a monogamous relationship right now, or do you want to play the field and keep your options open?
Don’t buy into the cultural standard that says you should “get serious” with a girl by a certain age, or settle down and have kids because being a bachelor is somehow wrong. In America, the average age at which men and women marry has been rising steadily over the years. It’s not the same as it was in our parent’s day, when it seemed odd if you were still unmarried at age 35. (In our grandparents’ day, reaching 25 without tying the knot was enough to cause suspicion you might be “batting for the other team.”)
A lot of men wind up marrying a woman whom they feel is “wife material,” but continue to pursue sex with other women. We’re not going to pass judgment on these guys, but we will say that adultery is often a dangerous game to play. It usually winds up causing a lot more problems than it’s worth. It can also serve as a major distraction to the goals in your life that are worth pursuing.
Why not just stay single for this next period in your life and enjoy all of the options you have as a Mack? The difference between Macks and regular guys is that Macks capitalize on their single status by dating different women and enjoying the kind of sex life all guys wish they’d had before they got married. Regular guys look to end their single status as soon as possible—because for them, it only means loneliness, desperation and shelling out for drinks at the bar that lead nowhere.
The bottom line, Andre, is that you’re not ready to tie the knot. The fact that you found a girlfriend as a result of our book means that you absorbed the lessons and put them to work. If your heart is telling you to get out there and keep macking, then by all means, do so. Otherwise you are lying to your woman, and lying to yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet a girl who makes the decision easy: you’re crazy about each other, and you’ve had enough experience with different girls to not feel like you’re cashing in your chips too soon. But don’t think you’ll ever stop checking out other beautiful women. You’re not just a Mack…you’re a man. Accept it and embrace it.
Go Tactical! For more information on the M.A.C.K. Tactics system or to purchase our books, DVDs and other instructional products, visit www.macktactics.com.