After your opener, you need to have a way to TRANSITION into the conversation. Think like a chess player, always planning a couple of moves ahead.

The very first words that come out of your mouth are not the most important ones. As I said before, if you project confidence and a laidback, playful attitude, you could get away with simply saying, “You’re cute” or “I noticed you earlier and I want to meet you.”

A good way to do this is to make another observation that encourages her to keep thinking and talking. After your opener, depending on how she’s dressed, how she carries herself, and the way she responds to your initial observation, you might say:

“You have this really confident vibe, you seem very sure of yourself. You remind me of my friend Jennifer. I bet a lot of guys are intimidated when they first meet you, but they don’t realize you’re actually a sweet person.”

“You’ve got a really positive energy about you. I bet your friends are always calling you up when they’re depressed about something and they need a boost.”

“You have a cool sense of style. You must always be keeping up on the latest trends. So let me ask you something…my buddy Jeff wants me to help give him a fashion makeover. What do you think is the #1 thing that a guy can do, to make himself look more stylish?”

“You have a really unique look. It’s refreshing to meet someone who isn’t just trying to copy the way every else dresses. So have you always been this way?”

The Art of Approaching

 

“Are you by any chance a dancer? Because you move with such grace and confidence, you have to be professionally trained. Who’s your teacher?” If she says she’s not a dancer, follow up with: “Well, I bet if we get you in a club that’s a different story.”

Or…

You: “How high are those heels?”

Her: (answer)

You: “Wow, you know, you really know how to walk in them. Most women are so clumsy and uncoordinated. It’s such a lost art. Good to know there are still some women around who know how to do it right. Did you have to go to charm school for that? How’d you learn?”

Another good one: if her arms are crossed, indicating that she doesn’t want to be approached, approach anyway and say this:

“Is everything OK? You look so closed-off with your arms crossed liked that. You’d look so much friendlier if you uncrossed them.”

This will usually get her to uncross her arms. (She’ll do so, without even thinking about it.) Once you get her to “open up” her body language, her attitude will follow. Follow up with another observation and get the conversation started.

Observations are an excellent way to get the conversation started. This is an example of creating original conversations, instead of just engaging her in “fluff talk” that goes nowhere.

As things begin to flow, another great technique is to use emotional anchors. Get her to associate the things you are talking about with positive, exciting, or romantic feelings. Encourage her to express her emotions.

So how did you spend your day?

Oh, I went for a run.

Does running make you feel good?

Yes.

I know what you mean. There’s something about being outdoors and exercising that makes you feel awesome. You get your blood pumping, your brain releases endorphins, you can be having the worst day and then some exercise can totally brighten your mood…you feel like you can conquer anything, you know what I mean?

Another example…

I had the most amazing meal tonight (mention what you ate)…so what did you have for dinner?

Nothing special, I just made some pasta (or whatever)…

Is that one of your specialties?

Not really. I’m not much of a cook.

Well, what if you had your own personal chef? What would you have him cook for you when you really want a special treat?

The “personal chef” question is an example of a Hypothetical. The Mack Tactics program contains many of these in the “Conversation Control” chapter. Basically, a Hypothetical is an unusual, thought-provoking “hypothetical question” that you pose to her. A good one will get her to share and reveal things about herself, and then give you an opportunity to “bond” with her by sharing things about your self. Hypotheticals can also emotionally “transport” her to another place, by stimulating her imagination.