When you approach a girl, she has a million reasons to say no. In fact, she’s probably looking for reasons to shoot you down. These reasons could be beyond your control. You might resemble the jerk who broke her heart in the tenth grade. She might be coming off a bad relationship. She might be stressed out from her job. If you’re at a nightclub, perhaps she has convinced herself that it’s impossible to meet a decent guy in that environment, that they’re all sleaze balls and there’s no way in hell she’s giving any guy her phone number tonight.
More commonly, when it comes to being approached by men she doesn’t know, her radar is simply on high alert at all times. She’s looking for red flags: reasons to rule you out and end the interaction. You may also be operating at a disadvantage from the very beginning because you don’t meet her “criteria”: the superficial qualities she tells herself she needs in a man. (He needs to be tall, dark, handsome, wealthy, etc.)
The good news is that there are methods for “jamming” her radar and getting through these barriers. First, you need to understand one of the biggest fundamental differences between men and women: we seek to QUALIFY women, while women seek reasons to DISQUALIFY us.
In other words, we’re willing to overlook a girl’s flaws if we’re interested in having sex with her. Women, meanwhile, are more likely to look past our good qualities and try to find reasons to rule us out. Let’s say you spot a blonde across the bar. Her face is average (at best) but she’s wearing a tight dress and has a killer body. That’s enough to make you want to approach. Then, if it turns out she’s dumber than a box of rocks and has nothing interesting to say, you’ll continue to fixate on her body. You’ll keep macking. As long as she’s receptive to you, you’ll keep trying.
As long as there is something about her that turns you on, you’ll give it your best shot, right? (Especially after six or seven drinks…)Women have a different perspective. From the moment we make eye contact with a girl, or approach her, she’s sizing us up and her brain is coming up with reasons to DISQUALIFY us.
Maybe her radar is telling her you’re too short, too young, too old, or she doesn’t like the color of your shirt, or she figures you’re a player who’s only looking to get laid. She’s going to think about all the reasons not to get to know you, before she considers the reasons why she should.
The typical guy faces an uphill battle because he’s always struggling to qualify himself to women. This is why so many men resort to pickup lines or try to impress women off the bat by talking about what they do for a living, or who they know. (Truth be told, unless you’re a rock star, famous actor or professional athlete, there are few professions that are going compel a woman to want to have sex with you.)
Most guys are so used to being blown off in the first minute or two, they resort to desperate measures just to get their foot in the door. Jamming her radar means you’re never going to allow a woman to go into the mental process of disqualifying you.
You’re going to throw her off balance and turn the tables. You send the message that you’re not that into in her, you’re not easily impressed, and that SHE needs to qualify herself to YOU.
Then, throughout the course of conversation, you continue with this strategy. You say things, and ask questions, that force her to qualify herself to you. The message you are sending is that you are a guy with standards, and if she doesn’t meet them, you’re outta there.