It’s enough to make you want to lock yourself away from the outside world and live as a loner for the rest of your life, solitary and alone.
But there’s a problem with that plan: We are never alone.
We are always involved in a incessant conversation with ourselves in our mind.
A dialogue about what we can do, what we should risk, and what we must avoid.
Our brain is continuously reminding us about the kind of person we THINK we are. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, our brain is always there to call up everything that’s wrong with us.
This could be triggered by looking in the mirror, interacting with other people, or thinking about a particular problem.
But no matter what triggers these thoughts, they can all be boiled down to one thing:
Feelings play a big part when we paint a picture in our minds of who we are. Smart people can feel stupid.
Thin people can feel fat. Youthful people can feel old. Talented people can feel like losers.
Like being “Stupid,” for instance. Have you ever pointed at yourself in the mirror critically, thinking to yourself: “You make mistakes. You are stupid. You ought to feel ashamed of yourself!”
I was out with a guy not long ago who, after striking out with a woman, would come back to my table and repeat over-and-over “Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”
Chastising himself for doing something dumb because the girl he talked to didn’t automatically want to sleep with him.
In his mind, he did something wrong, something STUPID, and he had to punish himself for doing such a dumb thing like TALKING TO A GIRL.
As you can imagine, this poor guy hates talking to women.
A personal favorite myth of mine is the Fat myth – probably because that’s one of the big myths that I buy into.
When I look into the mirror, my eyes instantly go to my gut, and my mind is forever poking at my fat, real or imagined.
I know other men are the same way, especially when we see and compare ourselves to models and athletes on TV with the six-pack abs and 3% body fat.
When you are stuck in an overweight mind and/or body you cannot escape from, you start to feel sorry for yourself and ashamed because you think you are inferior to others who are thin and muscular.
After all, how can you expect to compete with those guys?
The Myth of being Old will tell you only what you cannot do. It defines your limitations and lost opportunities.
Old men look at beautiful young woman and think to themselves “It’s too late. I’ve have missed out. I blew it. She will never go for a guy as old as me. I can’t keep up.”
Old men feel they will never fulfill their potential, because they have lost their youth. They use this as an excuse to keep from trying.
They don’t want to go to a bar or a club, they don’t want to stay out late, they don’t think they know anything about the dating scene.
They see their age as a cage from which they cannot escape. They just can’t do everything they want to do.
After all, you’re not as young as you used to be.
The Ugly Myth reminds you that you are forever handicapped. You are just another victim of other people’s apparent disapproval, and you act and feel like an outsider.
You exclude yourself, never bothering to pursue a pretty girl because you don’t believe anyone could ever find you attractive, and if they do, there must be something wrong with them (because who could be attracted to one so ugly? They must be lying!!!).
You’re envious of those you see as more attractive, and you are always angry and feel sorry for yourself because you are constantly comparing yourself to them.
You see them as being blessed while you’re cursed, and you resent them for their good fortune.