The other aspect of Social Dominance is getting Social Proof from people (besides the buddies you showed up with). Social Proof is a classic sales/advertising concept.
Basically, as humans, we form our opinions on things and people according to what other people think of them.
This is especially true in consumer culture. Every time a new “trend” sweeps the country and it seems like everyone is buying the latest gadget, car, pair of sneakers, etc., more people buy it simply due to the fact that others have given it massive Social Proof.
An amusing example of the power of Social Proof: in the United States, major celebrities avoid appearing in advertisements (usually for fear of looking like they’re “selling out.”) You’ll never see a major Hollywood star doing a TV commercial for a brand of liquor, or appearing on a billboard to promote a wrist watch.
But stars like Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jodie Foster and Gwyneth Paltrow have done large-scale advertising campaigns in Japan and China. Arnold Schwarzenegger did a commercial for a Japanese energy drink.
These stars don’t even the speak the language of the consumers they are pitching the product to but foreign advertisers pay them boatloads of cash to endorse their product, because it carries enormous Social Proof.
Hey, if Brad Pitt says he likes a brand of coffee, it must be good…right? Well, not necessarily. But having his smiling face on that billboard is guaranteed to generate huge sales, simply because he has associated himself with that product.
And if women were to see you hanging out in a bar with Brad Pitt, and he’s laughing at your jokes and acting like he’s your best buddy…well, neither of you would have a problem getting laid that night!
How does this principle translate into your world? Well, as I said, women are assessing you by your social ranking and whenever a cool person “endorses” you, it raises your status in the minds of women. It indicates that you must have attractive qualities.
(What’s even better than having cool male friends who give you Social Proof? Having women observe you getting Social Proof from other women!)
For this reason, you’ve got to form alliances with the people who have status in the places that you frequent. I recommend that you have three or four “date spots” that you bring your dates to, and at every one of these places, you are on a friendly, first-name basis with the staff (and ideally, the manager or owner).
When I discover a cool new place that has the potential to become one of my “date spots,” I always make an effort to befriend some of the people who work there. It’s easy to make these alliances; they always appreciate a patron who takes the time to tell them how much he enjoys their place and is curious to learn more about it.
If it’s a bar or club, I make friends with one of the hottest waitresses. I tip her more than I normally would, and get to know a bit about her.
And so, the next time I return to that bar, club, restaurant, coffee shop, or art gallery, and I’m bringing a date along, I receive instant Social Proof. The staff greets me by name. The bartender buys me a free beer. The super-hot waitress gives me a hug. The manager comes over to my table to say hello. Women notice these details, and they work in your favor.
The other night, I met a guy at a club who studies “pickup” and he told me he goes to that club twice a week, every week, to meet women. And yet he didn’t know the name of a single doorman, cocktail waitress, or bartender. He had no idea who the manager was.
This is a classic mistake. When you discover a great new bar, club or restaurant, don’t measure success only by how many women you meet that night. The even greater success might be forming a friendship with the guy who runs the place. It will pay dividends in the long run.
