Women have a core need to feel secure and protected. You can give her the sense that you are a “protector” by using simple, subtle gestures.

Obviously, you’re not going to have the opportunity to demonstrate physical dominance until after you’ve approached and gotten to know her a bit. But I want to mention this while we’re on the subject.

If you’re in a crowded environment (such as a bar, nightclub, or concert), place your hand lightly on her back and gently re-position her, and angle your body, so that you are “shielding” her from people who might bump into her.

Don’t keep your hand on her. Just make this brief gesture to give her the sense that you’re physically “looking out” for her. Women notice and appreciate this.

When you hold open the door for her (you should always hold the door open for a woman when you’re entering a room), place your hand on the small of her back and gently guide her through the door.

Another very simple but effective way to establish yourself as her “protector.”

If you’re leading her across a crowded room (usually this is at a bar, club or party), this is your opportunity to take her by the hand and lead her. Trying to hold her hand while you’re standing or sitting with her will often feel awkward, like you’re trying to physically escalate too soon.

But, it’s perfectly alright for you to lead her by the hand when you are bringing her somewhere in a crowded environment. It’s a great way to establish body contact, get her comfortable with your touch, and allow you to gradually escalate to more intimate touching later on.

So, now that you understand how to convey your status and dominance to women beginning when she first lies eyes on you—let’s talk about specific approaches that you can use to begin the interaction.

First, I want to give you a quick exercise that will help you begin to sharpen your approach & conversation game. Use a hand-held audio recorder, or the audio recorder on your computer (most laptops have this function) to record yourself the next time you chat with a friend. Try to not be conscious of the fact that you are recording your speech. Talk in your normal tone of voice.

Afterwards, play back the recording. Notice the “stall words” you use in your speech. Practically all of us use them.

Stall words include:

“Um…”

“”Uh….”

“You know?”

“Y’know what I mean?”

“Like…”

Some guys use these stall words/phrases constantly when we talk. We use them for two reasons:

#1 To buy our brains some time, as we figure out what we want to say next

#2 To try to get the other person to agree with us and encourage us (which shows insecurity)

I want you to work on eliminating these words and phrases from your speech. When you’re talking to a girl, they radiate insecurity. The next time you’re talking to a girl, be aware of whether you use these words. If you do, catch and correct yourself. Back up and say the same thing again and this time, do it in a sharp, clean way that eliminates the “stall words.”

Another thing I’ve noticed when hanging around very successful people is that they don’t waste a lot of words. They know their time is valuable, and this is reflected in the way they talk. It is direct and to-the-point. They also know that what they have to say is valuable.

A guy like Donald Trump isn’t going to use phrases like “um, y’know” or “y’know what I mean” when he’s on a conference call with his investors or high-powered partners. He expresses himself clearly and effectively, so that he can wrap up the call and get on to the next task. Time is money!