You want to use an opener that will accomplish four things:

 

#1 It does not remove her from her “comfort zone.” You never want her to feel threatened or uncomfortable when you approach and start talking to her.

#2 It captures her interest and attention (or the attention of the group she’s with)

#3 It displays a positive aspect of your personality (your confidence, humor, knowledge, curiosity, or playfulness)

#4 It serves as a “bridge” that will lead into an interesting and unusual conversation. (Unusual is a good thing. You don’t want to carry on a predictable, typical conversation that she’s probably had before with 100 other guys you must stand apart.)

A Note On Pickup Lines…

Now that we’re getting into the nitty-gritty details of approaching, I want to discuss “pickup lines” for a moment. When you talk about the art of “pickup” with someone who isn’t familiar with this type of material, they usually have negative assumptions about what it means. The big assumption is that this material is about teaching guys “pickup lines.”

Such as…

“Am I dead? Because I must be in heaven…I’m looking at an angel right now.”

“Can I borrow a quarter? I just want to call my mom and tell her I met the woman of my dreams.”

“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

“Excuse me, but I think I just dropped something…MY JAW!”

“I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?”

“So, what time do you need to be back in heaven?”

And so on…

We all laugh at the idea of pickup lines. But it’s not because the lines themselves are stupid or offensive. It’s because we imagine them being delivered by guys who ooze creepiness who lean into a girl’s personal space and give them a big sleazy grin as they utter one of these lines.

Also, the guys who typically use pickup lines have no idea how they are going to follow up the “line” and engage the girl in conversation. These are the guys who approach getting laid as a “numbers game” hitting on ten or twenty girls in an evening, hoping that one of them will be desperate (or drunk) enough to take the bait.

But I want to make an important point here. Even the corniest-sounding pickup line can be used to start an awesome conversation, if you communicate playfulness and confidence and know how to follow it up with something that engages her attention and keeps things flowing.

Something that I want to stress in this program is that you should stop worrying so much about the first thing to say to a girl. What really matters is what you say next how you engage her. (This is also known as “transitioning.”)

A guy with a playful sense of humor and bulletproof game could walk up to the hottest chick in the club and say, “I must have died and gone to heaven, because I am staring into the eyes of an angel.”

Then, before she thinks he’s actually being seriously cheesy, he cracks up and says, “I know, that probably sounded like the world’s worst pickup line…I’m just playing, but I do want to ask you something real quick…” (And then he bridges into a fun conversation, using one of the techniques I will soon explain.)

Virtually anything you say to a woman can be used as a bridge into the conversation. It’s not about what you say first. It’s about knowing where you are taking it next.

Keep this in mind when we talk about openers. Remember, a good opener should serve as a bridge into the conversation. Not just any conversation, but one that allows you to control where things are going, and encourages her to share details about herself, while you “plant seeds” in her mind about your own positive and attractive qualities.