“Are you by any chance a dancer? Because you move with such grace and confidence, you have to be professionally trained. Who’s your teacher?” If she says she’s not a dancer, follow up with: “Well, I bet if we get you in a club that’s a different story.”

Or…

You: “How high are those heels?”

Her: (answer)

You: “Wow, you know, you really know how to walk in them. Most women are so clumsy and uncoordinated. It’s such a lost art. Good to know there are still some women around who know how to do it right. Did you have to go to charm school for that? How’d you learn?”

Another good one: if her arms are crossed, indicating that she doesn’t want to be approached, approach anyway and say this:

“Is everything OK? You look so closed-off with your arms crossed liked that. You’d look so much friendlier if you uncrossed them.”

This will usually get her to uncross her arms. (She’ll do so, without even thinking about it.) Once you get her to “open up” her body language, her attitude will follow. Follow up with another observation and get the conversation started.

Observations are an excellent way to get the conversation started. This is an example of creating original conversations, instead of just engaging her in “fluff talk” that goes nowhere.

As things begin to flow, another great technique is to use emotional anchors. Get her to associate the things you are talking about with positive, exciting, or romantic feelings. Encourage her to express her emotions.

So how did you spend your day?

Oh, I went for a run.

Does running make you feel good?

Yes.

I know what you mean. There’s something about being outdoors and exercising that makes you feel awesome. You get your blood pumping, your brain releases endorphins, you can be having the worst day and then some exercise can totally brighten your mood…you feel like you can conquer anything, you know what I mean?

Talking To Women

I had the most amazing meal tonight (mention what you ate)…so what did you have for dinner?

Nothing special, I just made some pasta (or whatever)…

Is that one of your specialties?

Not really. I’m not much of a cook.

Well, what if you had your own personal chef? What would you have him cook for you when you really want a special treat?

The “personal chef” question is an example of a Hypothetical. (The Mack Tactics program contains many of these in the “Conversation Control” chapter.) Basically, a Hypothetical is an unusual, thought-provoking “hypothetical question” that you pose to her. A good one will get her to share and reveal things about herself, and then give you an opportunity to “bond” with her by sharing things about your self.

Hypotheticals can also emotionally “transport” her to another place, by stimulating her imagination. Here are some examples of boring, typical (“wack”) questions that guys frequently ask women, followed by some cool new Hypotheticals that I’ve been using recently:

Wack: So where you do you like to hang out?

Mack: My buddy Jim is coming up on his first anniversary with his girlfriend, and he wants to do something special and romantic. So let’s say you’re dating a guy, and he’s going to take you on the ultimate first-anniversary date. Not necessarily something super-expensive, but something you’ll always remember. Describe to me how that date would go.”

After she answers, get her to expand on her answer. Get her to speak in emotional terms. What it is about that place that she associates with romance? You can emotionally “transport” her to an extremely positive mental state this way.

Wack: “So what kind of music do you like?”

To this, she’ll usually say “all kinds” or something to that effect…typical question, typical answer, and you’re not getting anywhere.

Mack: “I read this crazy story in the news today. Some super-rich banker guy hired The Jonas Brothers (or Hannah Montana, or some other hot “teen” act) to play at his daughter’s 16th birthday party, and paid them a million bucks to play for only 45 minutes. Can you believe that?”

This stuff actually happens, by the way. A few years ago, some filthy rich businessman hired 50 Cent, Aerosmith, Tom Petty, Stevie Nicks, and Kenny G to play at his 13-year-old daughter’s bat mitzvah in New York City. The tab for the party? $10 million.

Then follow up by saying, “so let me ask you a question. If you wanted to throw the most unbelievable party of all time for you and your friends, and you had unlimited money to hire any band in the world, who would you pick?”

When she answers, get her to keep sharing: “So what do you think is their most amazing song?”

Talking about her favorite music is bound to put her in a positive mood (which is essential for building your bond with her). Have your own answers ready to go, and be ready to share your own feelings about why your favorite music is so special to you. Relate a story about why that performer, or that band, has special significance to you. Paint a picture for her. Speak in emotional terms.

The bottom line is, it’s way more fun, creative and interesting to make observations, rather than use the standard “job interview” approach. (So what’s your name? Where are you from? What do you do? Do you come here often? BORING…)

I also like to make “guesses” about women. Instead of “where are you from,” you could say “I get the sense that you’re not from around here, originally. You’ve got this sophisticated, big-city vibe.” (Or, “you’ve got this innocent quality about you…I bet you’re from a tiny little town somewhere.”)

If you’re completely wrong about your guess, that’s OK! It’s going to make her laugh, she’ll want to know more about why you made that guess, and then she’ll fill you in on you her actual details.

If she is obviously from a foreign country, you could ask her where she is from, originally, and then say “So if I visit there someday, what’s the one spot I absolutely need to visit?” Get her to describe it. The conversation should emotionally transport her there.

In the Mack Tactics program, I cover every angle of managing conversations and guiding them towards the results you want. For now, remember, interesting observations and questions (such as Hypotheticals) make her want to come up with good, interesting answers. When you are controlling the flow of the conversation and the topics this way, you are taking the “dominant” role in the interaction—and this implies confidence and status.

Clever stuff. Just remember, knowing how to use these openers to transition into the conversation, and keep things flowing, is the key. Check out Mack Tactics to completely master your conversation game.