The first frame of desirability is liveliness. Attraction does not take itself too seriously.
Attraction is not the time to dissect the differences between Tolstoy’s early work and late work.
It’s not the time to start talking about the disheartening things that have happened to you in your life.
It’s not the time to be susceptible; it’s not the time to be too deep.
You’ll see this tactically with the techniques like never giving women a straight answer.
For example: a girl asks you what you do, you say “Oh, I’m an ass model,” or “I’m a disposable lighter repair salesman,” or “I’m a lion tamer.”
Again, there’s nothing particularly powerful about not giving a woman a straight answer, but what it does is it shows you’re not taking the interaction too sincerely and it demonstrates that you’re playful. Which is the first frame of attraction.
The same thing happens with teasing and nagging girls. When you do either of those actions you’re showing the girl that you don’t take it so critically. You’re not too concerned about having to make this interaction work.
Nothing turns a woman off more than a guy who’s taking himself too seriously. The movie Van Wilder has a great quote about that. It says, “Don’t take life too seriously or you’ll never get out alive.”
I believe in that, especially for attraction! You don’t want to take it too seriously. You’re the type of guy who meets so many girls that one girl rejecting you is not a big deal, it’s not something you’re going to go home and cry yourself to sleep over while masturbating, using your tears as lube.
Being A Fun Guy
The Second frame of attraction is fun. Fun is the ultimate attraction switch. Having fun and having balls will get you 90% of the way with women.
So what is fun? It’s emotional stimulation. It’s a constant stream of good emotions. Let me tell you how I came to the idea of Fun. A lot is made in the community of Value, Not a lot is made in the community of Fun.
The reason, I think, is because it’s a lot easier to explain Value. Fun is a much more ephemeral, hard to explain thing.
So people say, “Well, she saw you were preselected and then you got the girl.” But really it could just be that she was enjoying herself and she wasn’t paying attention to your little story.
Attraction Frame Three: Flirty. Flirting is enjoyable. It’s something girls want to do. Women want to get hit on. They do not spend three hours getting dressed up and doing their makeup and putting on their push up bras and dresses to go out and have everyone ignore them.
They want to be flirted with. Flirting is fun and teasing; it’s not just coming onto a girl nonstop.
It is making it known that you are interested in her and that you’re interested in her as a man is interested in a woman, not as a friend who needs a shopping buddy or as someone who’s going to give her psychic advice.
It’s flirting and showing her you like her, showing her that you guys have fun together and that you are interested in having sex with her.
Attraction Frame Four: Social. An attraction frame is a Social frame. You’re a social butterfly; you’re concerned in meeting everybody.
You’re talking to everyone. You’re not trying to get anything from anyone. You’re just bringing value, you’re enjoying the experience of socializing and the experience of meeting new and diverse people.
Social Dominance
Attraction Frame Five: Dominance. The final attraction frame is all about being in control of yourself, your emotions and the interaction.
You must be able to dominate the interaction socially. You have to be able to become the center of attention in the interaction, the group and eventually the room.
Dominance has a place in every aspect of your communication, from the way you make eye contact to the way you address girls and guys.
