Playfulness, fun and positivity. This is huge with women. If you’re the type of person who dwells on negative thoughts and has a sarcastic, self-deprecating sense of humor (which is how I used to be), leave that shit at home. You’ve got to convey positive energy when you talk to women.
You are not going to bond with high-quality women by talking about your disappointments in life, your failures, your fucked-up family, your bitch ex-girlfriend, or how lame this bar/club/party is.
Your goal should be to raise the energy and “positivity level” of any woman (or group of people) you come into contact with. If you bring down their energy level, you’re screwed; they’re going to want to get out of the conversation soon.
Hot chicks don’t spend two hours choosing their outfit, and doing their hair and makeup, so they can meet some guy who is going to drag them down!
On the other hand, you can be a guy who (they say) isn’t “their type” as far as looks go but if they’re having fun in your presence, and you’re elevating their energy level, they are going to want to stick around you. This is simple human nature.
In the Mack Tactics book, we’ve got a set of principles called The Ten Mack Commandments. One of them is, “Wherever You’re At Is The Place To Be.”
This means that whenever you are out socially, you want to project the sense that you’re having a kick-ass time and that the people you meet will have more fun by hanging out with a guy like you.
A few nights ago, I was with a buddy of mine at a bar. There were a couple of cute girls sitting at a table in the corner, and we wanted to meet them. They didn’t appear to be having any fun I could tell by their facial expressions and “closed” body language
So, before making any type of approach, my buddy and I sat down at the bar and I started flirting with the female bartender teasing her, getting her to laugh. I bought the bartender a drink and got her “on our side.”
The girls sitting in the corner noticed this. Here we were, in this lame bar on a slow night, and we were the only people in there who appeared to be having a great time regardless.
I eventually turned towards the girls, asked them their opinion on something funny we were talking about at the bar, and brought them into the conversation. They were receptive because they could see that we were “bringing the party.”
They were going to have more fun by being included in our conversation. Simply by observing us having a good time, they became curious and interested.
Playfulness also means not answering a woman’s questions directly. The most common mistake that guys make, when talking to women, is that they allow the conversation to slip into “job interview mode.”
The dating expert David DeAngelo has some great material on this. (If you haven’t read his legendary book Double Your Dating yet, it gives a ton of awesome pointers on being “cocky and funny” with women busting their balls in a light, playful way to make them feel curious and attracted, because they know they’re talking to an unusually confident guy.)
When a woman asks David D what he does for a living, he won’t talk about the fact that he’s a successful entrepreneur. He’ll say with a smirk, “I’m an ass model.” Or, “I’m a lion tamer.” Or, “I’m a disposable lighter repair salesman.”
The point isn’t to make her laugh at your wit. The point is that answering this way shows that you don’t take the conversation, or women, too seriously.
You don’t care whether she’s impressed by you or your job.
Most guys, when asked this question, will try to sell themselves to the woman and give “the right answer” as if they’re being interviewed for a job position they desperately want!
When you respond in the David D style, you’re communicating “beneath the surface” that talking to an attractive woman is no big deal for you, and you’re not trying to impress anyone. Give her a funny answer that deflects her question, and then change the subject to something else. You’re giving off the vibe, “I’m not here tonight to talk about boring stuff like jobs. I’m here to have fun, and if you hang with me, you’ll have fun too.”
Teasing women is another great way to show playfulness. We’ll cover this more later, but for a ton of detailed examples of how to tease women and create the RIGHT kind of sexual tension—so that women actually want to work to get your approval read the Mack Tactics books, which have been a “bible” for tens of thousands of guys around the world who want to attract more women.
Just remember, as long as a woman is having fun when she talks to you, you’re winning the game. We’re going to talk later about different types of effective approaches later, but the main idea behind all of them is to get her into a fun, original, thought-provoking conversation. Trust me, if you understand how to do this, you possess a huge tactical advantage over the guys in the bar who are more “handsome” than you are, or have more money.