This convo is how it all begins. It’s the delicate dance in which the Mack presents himself in the best possible light, gets a read on this woman he’s dealing with, and begins to guide the encounter.

The average guy won’t attempt to control the conversation; he “goes with the flow.” He figures as long as the woman keeps talking to him, he’s doing okay. But “going with the flow” usually means the conversation stays stuck in neutral. It’s only a matter of time before it runs out of gas. When it does, if this is a girl he just met, she’s going to figure out a way to excuse herself.(“I need to go find my friend” is a classic.)

Instead, you want to shift this conversation into high gear right from the start and control the tempo and the topics.

Now, when we say “control,” we don’t mean “dominate.” You’re not running your mouth or telling long-winded stories. You’re never coming off as aggressive or overbearing, which are signs of desperation.

Your goal is to guide the conversation without her knowing it. You will steer it in a direction that builds a bridge between you and her, creating a subliminal (and eventually a physical) bond.

Instead of wasting time with superficial small talk, every story you tell, and question you ask, should have a purpose whether it’s to strengthen the bond, gather Intell about her, draw attention to your positive qualities, or amplify her attraction towards you.

“Three-Quarters of Macking is Listening.” When you assume the role of the listener, instead of the talker, she reads you as a cool, nonchalant guy who’s sincerely interested in her and isn’t trying to make anything happen. Your vibe should say, “I could be chatting with any girl in the room right now, but I’m going to give this one a chance.”