Competence is merely a form of secure knowledge.
When you have secure knowledge in something, you are comfortable doing it.
Competence is the foundation from which you base all your actions off of.
In order to achieve the Competence necessary to overcome both barriers to approaching, you have to know what you’re going to say before you approach.
Having a number of Openers memorized gives you a “toolbox” with which to work with.
One that will insure you’re never at a loss for words.
Knowing what to say is important because it gives you a way to break out of your Comfort Zone. Being naturally lazy, you don’t want to have to think up something to say when you see a pretty girl.
But if you have some Openers memorized, you don’t have to think of something to say. You already know it.
This gives you the excuse you need to break out of your Comfort Zone. The second thing you need to overcome these barriers is Detachment from Outcome.
You need to be able to disassociate yourself from the possibility of success, to the point where you do not care about the outcome of the interaction. This is an important part of overcoming your Fear of Loss.
It’s a little bit of a Zen-like philosophy where you must free yourself from all attachment you naturally associate to a woman. You free yourself from your Fear of Loss because you automatically disqualify her.
The Art Of Flirting
You leave the possibility to have sex with the woman you desire there, but your goal changes so that this possibility is not the desired outcome of the interaction, and you therefore are not concerned about losing it.
The only time we really realize we’re flirting is when it’s not working, or something goes wrong – be it by flirting with the wrong person, or doing so at an inappropriate time and place.
For instance, you ever meet a girl who was cute, fun, bubbly, and seemed to really enjoy your company?
She’d laugh at your jokes, smile at you all the time, and do all sorts of activities with you? Like any guy, you’d think to yourself “Wow! This girl really likes me! She’s totally into me!” But then when you go to kiss her or express your interest, she acts surprised that you mistook your “friendship” with her as signs she was “interested” with you.
Often times, we can mistake a woman’s friendliness as being flirtatious, and a woman’s flirting as her being just friendly (or you might not notice her flirting at all!).
Because of this, pretty much every man on the planet has had a few embarrassing moments in regards to “misreading” the situation.
Now, if flirting is supposed to be natural, then why is it so hard to do? Why do we misread the situations so often and have to endure these embarrassing moments?
The short answer to this is: society.
Somewhere along the way, in your life, restrictions were imposed on your natural instincts that hinder your ability to either flirt, read the signs of others flirting with you, or both.
Maybe your parent’s scolded you when you were younger, or you got some bad advice growing up.
Whatever it was, some wires got crossed that made flirting harder for you than nature intended.
With that in mind, this article is meant to go in depth into the Art of Flirting in an attempt to help fix whatever damage you’ve sustained when it comes to the natural human mating ritual.